I live out of state but want to get married at St. Edward’s.

I am a Christian but my Fiancé is not.

How many bridesmaids can I have?

Do you marry people who have been divorced?

Do you expect us to join St. Edwards?

What does it cost to get married at St. Edward’s?

I live out of state but want to get married at St. Edward’s.

Congratulations on your engagement.  We are thrilled for you.  Since you live out of town, and by this we understand you mean more than an hour away, you will have difficulty undertaking the preparation we ask for.  No problem.  All you need to do is find a local Episcopal Church you feel comfortable and undertake whatever preparation they ask for.  This typically follows the pattern we have at St. Edward’s.  Explain carefully to the pastor you work with that you want to get married at St. Edward’s.  When you have finished the formal marriage prep the pastor will write a letter to our pastor asking that we have your marriage here.  If there is no Episcopal Church where you are, find a church you are comfortable in and check with our pastor to ensure that the church you’ve chosen to be prepared in is compatible.  If you are in the Military, undertake the preparation asked for by your chaplain and ask that a letter be sent to our pastor.  And of course remember to get your date penciled in early.  Your wedding date will not be confirmed until we receive the letter from your pastor, but it will also not be given away while it is still penciled in on our calendar.

I am a Christian but my Fiancé is not.

The Episcopal Church permits its clergy to perform marriages providing at least one is a Christian.  Since you are a Christian, there is no problem here.  Still this is something to discuss with our pastor and with your fiancé.  The Episcopal wedding service is explicitly Christian.  Will your fiancé be comfortable with the service?  Actually now is an important time for you to discuss the role of religion in your marriage.  Are you thinking of having children?  The issue of religion isn’t going to go away.  Discussing it now as part of your premarital preparation is highly advisable.  If your fiancé is open to exploring Christian Faith, St. Edward’s has a great program for you to consider.  It is called Alpha.  It is a 10 week course that explores the basics of Christian Faith.  If your fiancé is of another faith and deeply committed to it he or she might still be interested in taking this course to become better acquainted with your faith.  An important aspect of Alpha is that there is no pressure placed on people to convert to Christianity.  It is a safe place to learn.

How many bridesmaids can I have?

As many as you like.  If the marriage is held in the church there needs to be some careful consideration of where everyone will stand.  We’ve had several weddings with 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen.  This is easy to accommodate in our sanctuary.  If you want more we’ll work it out so that it looks lovely and feels gracious.  If your wedding is going to be outdoors, space may still be a consideration.  It is a good idea to get one of our pastors to look at the wedding site and talk about the service before you set the number.  Whatever the number and location, our pastors will work to make it work for you.

Do you marry people who have been divorced?

Yes.  Preparation for marriage where one or both have been previously married includes a careful consideration of the causes of the divorce.  The purpose of this preparation is not to cause shame or dredge up old grief.  It is to ensure that your new relationship will be healthy and free of the causes that led to your divorce.  Our goal here is to help you have a fantastic and wonderful marriage.

Do you expect us to join St. Edward’s?

We hope you will.  Joining a church improves your marriage.  Seriously.  As we grow closer to God all of our relationships are strengthened.  Some people like to say that they can grow closer to God without the church.  We believe that quiet time alone with God is an important way we work on our relationship with God, and that it is an important part of everyone’s spiritual journey.  At St. Edward’s we offer many other ways to help improve your relationship with God and all your other relationships.  If you think of a church as a combination of spiritual health club, family gathering, and service organization you will begin to see what the “value added” of belonging to a church is.  Like a health club, the church offers coaching, training buddies, and an assortment of classes.  It s like a family reunion in that God wants all the children to gather together for family time.  The church is a family: God’s family.  The church is like a service organization because it has a mission - given by God – and a strategy for blessing the wider community.  The benefit for your marriage in belonging to a church is directly connected to the level of your participation.  The more you engage, the greater your blessing will be.  You’re in charge.  We hope you will join us. From time to time we are approached by members of other churches who want to get married in our building.  Most often these churches do not have buildings or lack a center aisle.  In these cases we are happy to work with your pastor and we do make our buildings available. In these cases we charge a $500 fee for the use of the building.

What does it cost to get married at St. Edward’s?

We have only a few fees, and they are very modest.  We try to keep costs down for you because we do ask that you attend an Engaged Encounter Weekend and undertake a professional relationship checkup as part of your wedding preparation.  If you are in the process of building a wedding budget you should pencil in about $700 for wedding prep plus any of these fees you think will apply.  If this represents a financial hardship for you, please speak to our pastors about this.  They have a discretionary fund to help people with these costs.  Our goal is to ensure that every couple who marry here at St. Edward’s receives quality preparation regardless of their ability to pay.